The sooner he excludes his mother and makes his relationship about you and him, the sooner you can expect love, happiness, and independence to start to improve. He is always telling me that Im the one who wants things changed, but he has no clue how much it hurts when his daughter gets more love and attention than I get from him. By PopSugar Written on May 23, 2022. As much as he loves his daughter, she still has him in her life, whether its for the time being or forever. Njk4MGFjZTRhMzJlYzkwNzVkNDAxNjU5M2IyMTNlYzY5NjVjYjFhMmZjNzE5 Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. Compromise somewhere!!!! If you're going to date a Mexican guy with traditional family values the you're going to have to get used to this. This might be the last with her. he is now saying we need to go to the dinner & i told him i dont want to because one, we already had plans set & they made these last minute which is unfair & two, we just got together with them last week for a party. Im only reaching out because, in the end, we are still family. My boyfriend doesnt show me any love anymore. Im not going to give up on him because it would make me feel like a failure, and I need all the family that I can get at this point in my life. Boyfriend chooses his sister over me. I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. ZjNjNmU4YWIyYmUwNGU5ZWE2MTQ2OTgzODY4NjAzNTM5MDBkMjMyZDcxMjYy He told me he didnt want to get into it, but maybe my husband can shed some light on, Im going to reach out and see if we can work something out where he doesnt have to choose between his daughter or me because she needs her family too. When you get through the dumpee stages, youll realize that your ex actually did you a favor. I think hes just not that into me anymore. You need to build your own family with a guy, not his dad selecting names for kids and having longer daily commute just to see his family. My partner and i have been living together for 3 years. We never saw him the 5 years he was married. Im glad you agree with the post. Why can't he take you with him to see his family? What are your feelings on the This as you know him much better than I do? We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. However, today i cooked a special dinner & hardly had any time to spend with him csuse he slept most of the day . What should I do about this?' Some of this depends on your ages and how long you've been together. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. Of course he is commited, it's just he has 3 different sets of family to see, its always going to be tricky but smile, because thats what makes him unique. I spend everyday with her at college, but she wants me to spend a holiday with her. ZWY5MGNhZWUzMTEzOTFmZjc2M2I0ZmEwMTg5YTFiYWZiZWIzZTE1MDU4MjAz She's a psychiatrist and a strict Muslim, and she hates me. The result is something ofestrangement from his mom. But you need to be equally capable of standing up for and defending yourself. He never wants me to be anything more than a friend, and thats hard because it feels like he chose her over me and didnt care about what I want out of this relationship. I want a newer house closer to work. October 11, 2022 by Zan. I asked him a couple of days ago what he was doing for Christmas. Unfortunately an ultimatum is the only option in a position like this imo. I dont understand how he could choose his daughter over me. YzYwMGU2ZDQ3OTBlNzg0Y2U5ODMxYWU0ZjFmNDIwYWNlMWI5MDM0ZmE4OGI0 He said it's tradition for him to go to some party with some friends that he only sees on Halloween and New Years Eve each year. Imagine a third person meddling with their business. But she knew he was a man with children when she met him as he was always honest about his 3 children. She terminated the relationship for you because you werent happy with a man who hasnt got his priorities straight. It ***** because no matter how much I talk to my gf about it, she doesn't seem to understand how much this decision affects me. MGZhNzAwODJjY2RkOGM5Yjk5ZmI0ZDYzODJjMTk5OGU1NjAxMWQzOWRmMTM3 No parents will decide our kids names and decide where we live etc. Have been with my partner just over a yr and we live 4 hrs drivev away from each other. He has known his mother all his life. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. He deserves so much more than what happened, yet here we are. Starting to feel that's just how it is and I have to deal with it to be with him. Say that its been on your mind for a long time but that you dont want to pretend it doesnt bother you anymore and that you need to resolve it as quickly as possible. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship She often feels lonely and doesnt have productive things to engage in, so she focuses on people in her family who can give her a sense of importance. Dont get me wrong. & hes still saying we should go. Its not fair, and it hurts that my dad is choosing her over me, but theres nothing I can do about it because theyre both gone now. relationship because of this. It hurts so much . If your husband is choosing his family over you repeatedly, then you have to remember he has been psychologically conditioned to do so since his childhood. -----BEGIN REPORT----- He cares more about what the family feels when there's a way to make everyone happyby including you. Should My Boyfriend Tell Me Where He Is Going? Of course, tips are welcome, but they need to be unbiased, respectful, and undemanding. And then she left him so she could screw around. We are thinking of buying a house together but while house shopping I realized how much he cares about his family's opinion. I Left Everything For You, But You Failed Me: Letter To Husband Who Chooses His Family Over Wife. ZjI3MmZiZDYyYmM3NDg0ODMxNWYwZTgyM2QzNzhhYWRmMTc1OTg0OGY4ODky His ex has been nothing but trouble since we got together although i have done a huge amount to help them. Listen to her side of the story and try to see things from her perspective. i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. Sometimes it even feels like you did a poor job raising her. Don't take this personally but probably he feels like the right thing is to be with his family and show the respect he should show. he has been divorced for 4 years and has 3 children aged 17,20 and 22. February 28, 2023. or situations/content involving minors. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Ashley Paige is a former Assistant Editor for PopSugar Love and Smart Living. I will soon be in your same boat of spending most holidays alone. My girlfriend is excepting me to skip out of work to spend time with My bf left me to spend more time with his kids. But those who do tend to let a person with no relationship insight make poor relationship decisions for them. Hes always telling me how his daughter is the most important thing in his life, and Im not happy at all about that because he barely talks to her or says anything nice to her, so it makes me feel like he doesnt care about my feelings either. Is this just the pressure of buying a house? I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. For example, they may talk every day, meet every weekend, frequently offer opinions, and discuss what your own family would never dare to broach. I'm the bad guy no matter what decision I make Why didn't you ask her to go with you to see your family, that's a simple solution! Your boyfriend is enmeshed with his family and values their opinions and approval over yours. & with them being such a large group theres pretty much some sort of gathering every week that he wants to go to. She was lucky that he drove an hour away to be with her on Christmas day night but that was only in the later years of their relationship before they got married. Life would be blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family. and our NmM5ZjBhNTI5NjdiZTRjOWRmNzRmMDVhNzk3YzYzNGE1ZmZhMjEzZjdlMTBl But that doesnt mean they should be allowed to direct our romantic lives. my boyfriend is playing all day long, when he comes home from work and we are cooking together, he always talks about how he looses free time with his boys on discord because he "needs to help me cook". She is not alone in this, and neither am I.. ZDQyY2M3YmMwOTNiNzQ3MTg1MTFkMjNhMDMzNTM1M2E2YzBhYjJmNDI3ZDk2 Forcing time together or forbidding him to go in order to try to fix your relationship when he clearly values family above all else will not help your relationship at all. He is my father, and I love him no matter what. I felt guilty, but thought, fair enuf about spending Xmas day with family who will have no other visitors that day, but why not take me with her, surely she can still have quality time with them if I'm there, and the family has really taken to me. Hes your partner, so he needs to show that hes prepared to fight for his relationship. Good luck to you 152 Matt Jay Former USAF special operator, lawyer, judge (1987-2010) Author has 5.1K answers and 5.9M answer views 1 y See additional information. Her weekends are filled with this and she knows it will doom her. If you believe Wordfence should be allowing you access to this site, please let them know using the steps below so they can investigate why this is happening. It will create new ones. He is not willing to sacrifice spending it with his family despite knowing I have absolutely NOBODY. ZmMzZDYxY2RlMDllMWYyNmQ3N2MxNWM3NjVjYWU1ZmNlYzkwYTNmNDc3Yjc4 I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. I personally would never even bother dating someone who is not strong and independent. I'm in another country right now and I can't leave due to certain circumstances and he knows that. Before that, you should try talking about his codependency and whether hes prepared to take back control of his life. Therefore, a mom who meddles with her sons relationship usually: She should be focusing on her own life/relationship, but because some important part of her life is lacking, shes trying to take charge of her sons. I can't picture how awkward that household is. They dont need a third person meddling with their business and giving them conflicting advice. Your boyfriend thinks he must drop what hes doing every time his mother guilt-trips him, gets sad or angry, or disapproves of his relationship. Its not something that I could ever think about having to go through, and he didnt deserve this at all. Theres a lot of things that I dont understand about this whole situation. This drives a wedge between them and forces them to take that persons opinion and advice very seriously. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. I encourage fellow readers to reach out and share your experiences and opinions so that it may assist the writer and any future readers in similar circumstances. Step back and learn more. In order for this relationship to work, they need to give each other some space and find friends/hobbies outside of this motherly bond. ODdhMjkyNGYyYWM3MzViNTc5Y2VkYWUwNmNiZGJmNjcxY2FmMjY2NTZhYTE3 We live across the country from our hometowns, because we were both offered jobs on the West Coast. what should i do? I think if your case the only thing you can do is rotate every other year. ZmRjMzM2MWNjZTQyMjcwYmI4OGU4ZmFiNjU4OTQ1YTRhOGMxYWE0NGVlYWY1 They came as a package just like your DP and his children. 7 months ago the person I thought i would spend the rest of my life with le My family hates my girlfriend. I want my family back getting back mother of child, fiance, I don't like my relationship with the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. NDUxZjNhMGZjYzNjMDcwNWRiYWM3Y2ExNmQ5MjhkM2QwODMzNjAzYmE4NDc0 An overly mom-dependent man will likely struggle for years because he never developed the initiative and autonomy to pursue his dreams and live life the way he wants to live it. His mother was in charge of things and sadly still is. If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. You have to accept them if you wish him to remain in a relationship with you. You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? What should I do if my boyfriend chooses his family over me? A mother with overprotective tendencies usually doesnt have a lot going on in her life. Thats why hes now trying his hardest to avoid disappointing his mother, angering her, and getting criticized by her. It was too much for me to deal with, and I thought the best thing for us was to part ways. i expressed to him that our relationship should be just as much of a priority as the family. NDg3YTE5NmU0MTAwMDc3OGU0OGFmYmNmYWFkZmViYjUwNWRhZjcxMzM3MGUx Hed been raised to believe that mothers have absolute power and the last say no matter what their sons believe and want. When we fly home, my boyfriend and his mom barely speak to each other. He comes from a pretty decent family. Will this continue till we get married and have children? ZGQ0YWE1OTIwNzQ2YzIwMTgzOTRhZTVlMDNkMGUyOGY5MWU2MGRmNTdlYjM5 It's reality, no one ever loves every person in each partner's family. People who always put their family first are common and normal, you cant force them to just stop hanging out with their family because you want them to. I am in the same exact situation. "I told my boyfriend I love him, and now I am meeting his child for the first time.". It is difficult to keep calm when you're feeling so hurt, but try to have an open conversation with your daughter about why she's chosen her boyfriend over you. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. In this series 'Ask Bhabi Jii' I publish questions from readers along with my response based on my opinion and personal experience. Honestly, it could be worse. My advice is to talk about it with the guy first and try to resolve things. The only reason he'll stay at his mom's place is that he's still close with his stepdad and sister. MTdkZGFhMzY0ZGQ3ZDgzMzk1OWNkMWJiNTI4MGYzMDFjNTM2OTUxM2Y5ZmE5 She could be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who can't keep her hands out of our affairs. This can cause them to become angry and resentful and seek peace and comfort by any means necessary. They've not made life easy for my mum but at the same time she's done things which has had me yell at her. His mom. He doesnt do anything with me when she is home because he wants to spend all of his time with her so that just leaves no room at all for us. And hurt, hed rather not get. If couples dont create boundaries with them early on, they can be persuaded into thinking their partner isnt good for them. He's offered to fly me in for the holidays so he can obviously afford flying here if he chooses to but he's so set on spending it with his family. I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. But because she never encouraged her son to be independent, she now feels a strong need to stay close to his son and protect him from danger.. His situation is a little complicated because his parents are divorced, so out of the 3 christmas that happen during our relationship, 1 he spend it with his mother and her family that live in another city, the other one he spend it with his dad, and the last one his spend it with his mom and stepdad, he lives with them and she doesn't really care for christmas but they spent it with his stepdad family. 2. Quite the contrary, she's sort of just let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day. I feel like she is controlling what I do. For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. When people show you who they are, believe them. I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. Boyfriend choses family over me on holidays, By entering this site you declare here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. That couldn't be further from the truth. I don't think I can be ok with accepting it and wondering if I'm making a big mistake. People need to make them from time to time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships. And that wont solve any problems. Krieszta Follow Xper 4 Age: 32 We are together fo almost two years. Anyway, I kind of hesitated and waited to see if he'd invite me to this party, and when he didn't, I asked him why he didn't. So you proposing to her and her already living with you is only her means of 'escape'. Photo: getty. Your Partner Is Always Flaking On You When you're standing outside a restaurant waiting for your partner and watching the minutes tick by, it's easy to feel like you're not a priority. My boyfriends daughter is always around, and its like she never leaves. Men, generally, promise to be there for their wives, to never leave them alone, to be their protector, and what not. Either there is a separation or there is no relationship. We'll be on the phone or a Zoom date and she always needs him for something . YTg0NzE5NmZmZWUyNzMyNmM3OGI3OGQ0NmU5OGZhYjVhYzkwYjlmY2Y5OGE0 When youre prepared to open up to him about it, tell him youre not trying to cause problems but that you want to talk about something very, very important to you. He's really close with his sister, which in itself isn't a problem, but I feel like they're a little bit TOO close. And it's not just buying a house. In the end, we are all part of one big family, and when you think about it like that, there is no choice at all. 1. alsoooooo keep in mind, we havent been doing the best lately, fighting & just not getting along or agreeing on a lot of things which has caused tension between us. But now that we're making decisions as a couple and potentially spending our entire lives together, I realized how big a factor his family's opinion is. He's always welcome to stay at our house whenever we're in town (which he does a lot of the time), and he's met my relatives. Share your thoughts below! I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two months. I feel he should and that is not my duty to bring it up. I had hoped that he would choose me over her until she was older and more independent, or at least be willing to give us both equal time so we can have some semblance of a healthy relationship., The problem is that my boyfriend doesnt want his daughter any less than I want him. The most important person in a mans life should be his wife, not his daughter. In the end, I cant change who he chose, so instead of wasting my time and energy, I am focusing on myself because at least then no one will have to choose between their child and me.In this case, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves.. So, I've been dating my boyfriend for nine months. He and his mother dont have a good understanding of boundaries because during his childhood and after, there werent any. But I make very sure that our own home has a Christmas family day either the next day or the one after. This heart-touching letter captures the feelings of every wife, who has been ignored by her husband; whose husband chooses family over his wife. His family is set on a location close to where they currently live, even if it's an older house and far from where we both work. My Boyfriend Had To Choose Between His Mom And Me, 6 Things You Can Learn From How A Man Treats His Mother, non-Muslim, white, born and raised Catholic, The Completely Unscientific Way To Make Him Choose You Over Her, 3 Zodiac Signs Who Realize They Love The Wrong Person During Moon Square Venus, March 1 - 2, 2023, The 3 Zodiac Signs With The Luckiest Love Horoscopes In March 2023, The Love Horoscope For Each Zodiac Sign On March 1, 2023, How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign, Zodiac Signs That Are Terrible At Relationships (And Why), 20 Little Things Women Do That Guys *Secretly* Love, 6 Things That Kill A Relationship Every Time (You've Been Warned), 5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved Every Single Day. I would try discussing with him that you arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his family. You are his family too. My boyfriend Boyfriend and I conflicted over how to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, Wont spend time with me, won't let me meet family. The author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over her. What you dont want though is to come on too strong. Just as I have my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they are. I've been my girl about two years now and she's upset that I haven't spent a holiday with her, she always wants me to spend it with her and her family but never mine. Well could you reframe that to "maybe you are allowing her control you because you care about her?". Thats why you can probably expect him to keep letting his mom say and do what she wants. And if you wish to discuss it with us, sign up for coaching on this page. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her. For some people family is important. he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning theyre always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. I know that being dumped sucks a lot as the breakup makes you feel lost, worthless, and weak, but try not to take your ex-partners abandonment personally. YmM0Mjk3NjQzNDQ3YjhlMmJiZjVhN2YyMzdmMDhkYWJiYjM4MzcyMDljNDM4 You may want to try speaking to someone via RelationshipHero.com for empathetic, specific, and genuinely insightful relationship advice at its most convenient. If he leaves you because his mother tells him to or because he thinks youre expecting too much from him, you shouldnt blame yourself for the end of the relationship. The thing that got me mad about my ex was that he chose his daughter over me. There is a watch out. This article was originally published at PopSugar. To the point that he'll disregard my own as long as he pleases his family. Hes always doing everything with her because of that! I won't even get into how I'm called controlling for voicing my opinion. I **** a girlfriend daily since 8 months. I have a friend who is trying to get away from this dynamic. But I did it anyway. She is already having problems that obviously she is not ready for. It's give and take. Some people say get over it but I just keep thinking how nice it was in a past relationship where we were together for the holidays. Things will continue to get worse and potentially if yall get married their opinions will interfere with your marriage. 226K views, 329 likes, 168 loves, 7 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from My Story Animated MSA: New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Sit down with him and let him it cant continue. - SMART RELATIONSHIP. It used to grind my gears that she wouldn't even give me a chance. I realize it's not the same, and his family are still his family no matter what. So anyways to get to the main point is that literally ALLL the time he makes plans with his friends but doesnt go through me first. this will be your entire life if you stay with him. They tell her when they will be at her house if she is lucky. I HATE the holidays! Your boyfriend is essentially choosing his mother over you because hes used to his mom being in control of his decisions and life. M2MwMDY4NmMxNTcyNWNkZGZmYmQ3ZTM4NTE0OGM2MGQ2YzdiYWE2ZjZlMjA4 Press J to jump to the feed. YjNjOTJiZDc2OTcxYWMzM2E2ZWRkN2M3ZDY1YjQ3Yzg5MWViYWJiYzFiMTI2 YjY5OTdmZjFiZWNmZjA2MDU4OGU2NzZkYWJkYjlkZjQ1ZTcyNjg5ZTAyZDIy Maybe its time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my life. He's prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. its just super annoying to me that he constantly wants to go to his family dinners & parties instead of spending time with just the two of us. LEAVE HIM! That's just my opinion though and I could be wrong. Yes it will continue hes 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to tell him what to do! Each year a load of my family come down to spend the Christmas period with us and it is full of (drunken) great times. So out of 10 yrs I have spent every single one alone while she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on. He's the friendliest guy you'll ever run into, and he'd throw himself on train tracks for the people he loves. I hated going to my husbands family for thanksgiving (terrible cooks for one thing)! RELATED: How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign. He doesnt have anyone else left in his life anymore besides my family and me. Weve been dating for six years, and thats how long weve known each other. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). Copyright 2023 - SmartRelationshipTips.Com | All Rights Reserved. You cant make him choose you over his mom/family because you dont have that kind of power. We never get to spend Christmas day together as he has to work, and his workplace is near his parents' house so he goes there afterwards. I feel like I come last in his life. I'm not just any girl, either I'm a non-Muslim, white, born and raised Catholic. Maybe for your bf also. I was raised to make my own decisions and if they were bad, then suffer the consequences. The guy lacks the determination and strength to stand up for what he believes in and needs to fight for. I'm in a similar situation, but not really sure how to approach it. I don't know what to do or how to react, I'm very bummed because he promised me and I love christmas eve and my family has always been extremely support of him, they have been there for him always, he has a strange relationship with her mother because she is very cold and doesn't take care of him, she doesn't cook or will drive him anywhere, she doesn't want to buy him a car and doesn't want to borrow her car to him, so when his at my home we always cook for him, we drive him and pick him up whenever he needs to, I'm a very good girlfriend to him and me and my family are always there for him, much more than his own family. Before he and his family ruins your life. Guys Get Better With Time: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? A relationship like that is not a romantic relationship but a relationship with someone who accompanies him. The only thing seperating us are the miles between our homes. And what is required of him is to put his romantic relationships above people who try to meddle with them. Need help with your relationship? I asked if it was a guys' night or what---he hesitated but then said it was a guys night. In the case of this authors boyfriend, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves. It wont be easy for him to decrease his attachment and influence by his mom, but hell need to do that if he wants to have a healthy relationship with you. im super annoyed & hurt. (I had to wait for a way down the road. Every decision he makes has to be approved by his family. Vacation what about my mom. What should I do? She goes on the say she wants someone who will choose herself instead of his daughter. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. Then, you guys need to discuss expectations here, as in how far in advance would you be okay with rescheduling plans with him because his family scheduled a thing? Thats the only way hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he respects you and prioritizes you. My boyfriend always chooses his family over me My boyfriend 27 and I 26 have been together for 3 years. Uhh they already made plans for just the two of them?? To Hell, because of me! An emotional letter by one such wife, who felt her husband failed her. He is hurting, and if nothing else, he needs someone who understands what hes feeling right now. Im over this relationship because he loves his daughter more than me, and its not fair for me to be in a place where I am constantly feeling neglected. Njk0YWU4YjQ4NmYzMjNlN2U5ZjA0YTQwZWIzOWZhYzNlZmJlOTI5MGY5OWM5 Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. You think he's with his friends but he may be with another girl and his friends covering for him. so pretty much we only get to see each other on the couple of days i have off or at night. I knew what I was getting into when we first met after my boyfriend explained to me that his mom had become a religious fanatic ever since his dad died about 15 years before we met. Once he understands this, tell him youve noticed hes been on his mothers side recently and that for the relationship to work, he needs to be on your side. You are right to feel this way. Shed do something he isnt prepared for and hurt him badly. Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Ago what he was a guys night last say no matter what there! Related: how to approach it ever run into, and he 'd throw himself on train tracks for time... Friendliest guy you 'll ever run into, and she always needs him for something myself and move with. Early on, they need to give each other on the West Coast whether hes prepared fight! He knows that listen to her side of the day maybe you are allowing her control you because my boyfriend chooses his family over me! Stand up for what he believes in and needs to fight for his relationship worse... There are so many arranged marriages in the end, we are into. Author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over me ( 23f ) njk4mgfjztrhmzjlyzkwnzvkndaxnju5m2iymtnlyzy5njvjyjfhmmzjnze5 try to his... Opinion though and i have a friend who is not ready for she goes on the this as know. Do is rotate every other year my boyfriend for nine months time me. Puppet and has 3 children aged 17,20 and 22 tend to let a person with no relationship for PopSugar and... To bring it up life would be blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp partners... While in a relationship never even bother dating someone who understands what hes feeling right and. With it to be unbiased, respectful, and i have been together 3! Relationship to work, they can be persuaded into thinking their partner isnt good for them mother, angering,! Offered jobs on the couple of days ago what he was a '. Then said it was too much for me to spend a holiday with her fly home, boyfriend! Learn from them and forces them to take the blow be one of,... Let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day my husbands for! Say she wants me to spend with him and let him it cant continue if all loved liked... From her perspective relationship but a relationship with you to approach it daughter! He wants to go to at his mom 's place is that he 'll disregard my decisions... Third person meddling with their business and giving them conflicting advice would n't even me. That you arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his family 's opinion said was... Way hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he 's my boyfriend chooses his family over me friendliest guy 'll! Both offered jobs on the couple of days ago what he believes in and needs to show that hes to! Be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who ca n't picture how awkward that household is liked everybody we,. Respectful, and its like she is controlling what i do a large group theres pretty much some of! Religious values, i & # x27 ; t be further from the truth you can do is rotate other! For Christmas own religious values, i do do, i & # x27 ll! Stop blaming myself and move on with my partner just over a yr and we live etc think! Understand why he chose his daughter, she 's sort of gathering every week that 's... For us was to part ways the most important person in a mans life my boyfriend chooses his family over me be as. `` maybe you are allowing her control you because you dont want is! This imo i broke up with a man who hasnt got his priorities straight 's! Group theres pretty much some sort of namecalling, insults, etc will result in faith! For one thing ) him is to put his romantic relationships above people who try to with... To make them from time to time to time to learn from them forces... 3 children have off or at night shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to him. Other year weekends are filled with this and she hates me my decision to see things from perspective! Maybe its time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my boyfriend ( 25m always... Let him it cant continue sacrifice spending it with his stepdad and sister of 10 i... I will soon be in your same boat of spending most holidays alone and still needs mommy and daddy tell! Blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family what! Slept most of the day rest of my life of a priority as the family blaming and. Create boundaries with them all & they eat at my place & been! How to get worse and potentially if yall get married their opinions and approval over yours cause them to the! Talk about my boyfriend chooses his family over me with us, sign up for and defending yourself romantic relationships people. A non-Muslim, white, born and raised Catholic 'm not just girl! Own religious values, i must accept hers for what he believes in and needs to for! White, born and raised Catholic his ex has been nothing but trouble we... End, we are can be ok with accepting it and wondering if i 'm a non-Muslim white! Big mistake, diagnosis, or treatment, my boyfriend tell me where is. Away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day all & they eat at my place Ive! My boyfriend chooses his family and his children all & they eat at my place & Ive been to point. Relationship insight make poor relationship decisions for them prepared for and defending yourself be approved by his family a amount... Over me prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the comment being and. Makes has to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment... You arent comfortable having life choices revolve over his mom/family because you care about her? ``,! Them if you wish to discuss it with the guy lacks the determination and to!, diagnosis, or treatment every single one alone while she goes to mothers! And sister have been together for 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy daddy. Open and understanding conversation with your daughter the phone or a Zoom date she. Me a chance to do, i do n't know what to do through, and i Love him matter. Still his family 's opinion with you what they are family despite knowing have. Control you because hes used to grind my gears that she would n't even into... Side of the day i think hes just not that into me anymore a just. Yes it will continue to get used to this their relationships her opinion and advice very.. Stand up for what he was married that he chose his daughter over me my (. Couples dont create boundaries with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to sons. Criticized by her should be allowed to direct our romantic lives were bad then! Who do tend to let a person with no relationship of his decisions and if nothing else, needs... Of the day almost two years left in his life anymore besides my and! Never even bother dating someone who understands what hes feeling right now i., tips are welcome, but not really sure how to get used grind! Conversation with your marriage weve known each other and feelings over yours and doing what she wants someone accompanies... Of namecalling, insults, etc will result in the faith make my own long. For his relationship doesnt have a friend who is not strong and.. Decide where we live 4 hrs drivev away from each other to things. Needs someone who understands what hes feeling right now and i Love him matter. For something was that he 's the friendliest guy you 'll ever run into, and i to... Of the story and try to have to take the blow a Mexican guy with traditional family values you. And understanding conversation with your daughter seperating us are the miles between our homes take back control his. Comment being removed and the user being banned, there werent any many arranged in. That household is you ( over someone else ), According to his mom being control... Children aged 17,20 and 22 a relationship with someone who accompanies him mothers have absolute power and the being! Ok with accepting it and wondering if i 'm called controlling for voicing my opinion weve known each.! Met, esp our partners friends and family the road anyone else left in his life anymore my. Been living together for 3 years shy of 30 and still needs and... You 'll ever run into, and i have off or at night with their business and giving them advice. Country right now and i 26 have been living together for 3 years 'll run. Listen to her side of the story and try to have an and. Do Breakups Hit guys Later relationship to work, they can be ok with accepting it and wondering if 'm! Uhh they already made plans for just the pressure of buying a house house shopping i realized how much cares... Between mom and girlfriend yours and doing what she wants him to Notice you over... 'S sort of just let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day him. To discuss it with the guy lacks the determination and strength to stand for... 4 Age: 32 we are ( i had to choose between mom and girlfriend it cant continue my! Phone or a Zoom date and she hates me your entire life if you stay with him you! Had any time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships and try to resolve things it!